Showing posts with label rhonna Farrer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rhonna Farrer. Show all posts


Today I have to write an email that scares me to death.

You see there is a person who doesn't understand why I don't want to have a relationship with them. 

In the past, they have done things to hurt me and 4 years ago, I cut ties with them. Their words have always been "I didn't meant to hurt you.", but never admitting "I did wrong." Never admitting to what they did. 

And for me...that is a brick wall. 

I have forgiven them and am working on my own healing regarding the situation, but the idea of pursuing any kind of relationship with the person causes a near panic attack. 

About a month ago, I received an email from them once again...not understanding my lack of "forgiveness" and my need for distance. 

In the past, I have always tip-toed around things because I was scared of hurting the other person, but I have come to realize I am hurting someone anyway...myself.

Although, I have unpacked my emotional "backpack", they are all still lying around me, like land mines. The only way to finally sweep them away where they can't do any damage is to stop ignoring them and face my fears.

Ephesians 4:15 says we must speak the "truth in love" and I LOVE myself more now than I ever have in my entire life so I can no longer lie to myself and mute my feelings to protect others at the expense of freeing my soul from it's prison. 

I will not be speaking in anger and I think that is why I am ready to take this step. Nothing good would come for me or them if I spoke only in anger.

Psalm 37:8 says "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it only leads to evil."

My purpose is not in evil or wrath...my purpose is in releasing the fear that this situation has held me in for 4 years so that I can stop holding on to the past and move forward.

Proverbs 4:25-26 says: "Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. "

I am choosing to look forward...and to do that...I can't be afraid and be a prisoner of my past anymore.

Today...I pray you will choose to love yourself enough to speak the truth to others in love, without fear or anger, so that your soul can be free from it's prison.

Until next time my friends, 
KERI


Broken dreams hurt. 

Anyone who says otherwise has either never dreamed big and failed or is a big fat liar. (Lol)

If you care about something enough to dream of it and pursue it it means you have put your very HEART on the line for the sake of this thing you are pursuing. And when it doesn't happen the way we dreamed it would or doesn't happen at all, our heart is broken and we are in pain and mourning over our lose. 

Then you're left wondering "Why not? Why me? I tried so hard." And then doubt seeps in "Maybe I'm not that good." "Maybe I did something wrong." "What is wrong with me?"

Ever been there? I have. More times than I've wanted to be. And I have allowed those doubts and thoughts to roam around my brain, keeping me preoccupied and down and prisoner.  

But..what if I told you...there is more dreams to be dreamt and more hopes to be had? What would you say? 

This morning, I saw this quote from Pastor Mark Barnett from The Dream Center and it said "At the end of a broken dream is always a new one." And at first I'm like "oh what a positive happy-go-lucky-unicorns-and-rainbows outlook on life." (Anybody else feel that way when you're in a rough patch and see something like this?!?!) 

After a few minutes of internally laughing at my own hilarity (did I mention it was EARLY this morning?),  I said to myself "ok...this guy is a well respected pastor...there has to some biblical backing to this statement." 

It was then that I remembered the beginning of Jeremiah 29:11: 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD...

Do you see it? Do you see the promise of infinite dreams? It's small and easy to miss, but it's there.... 

It's PLANS...with an a S...that means multiple paths your life can take...not just one. 

And what's even better...read the second half of the verse: 

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. {bold added by me.}

No matter which one of God's PLANS we are on...they are ALL GOOD. They are for us to be prosperous, unharmed and to have a hopeful future. 

Does that mean they will always be smooth sailing? No because we live in a world of humans who make mistakes and a sinful world that would like nothing more than to make you THINK you are alone. 

Does that mean all your dreams will come true like a Disney Princess? No...because our dreams are not always God's dreams and sometimes God always OUR dreams to be interrupted because he has something BETTER in mind for his children. 

It is very easy for us to get hung up on what "could have been" or what we wanted and lose sight of the GOOD that can come over that dream being gone. 

One of the comments on this quote on facebook referenced a book by an author  named Larry Crabb named "Shattered Dreams" and he said it so well: "Sometimes God shatters lower dreams, so that He can reveal higher dreams to us." 

Be open to higher dreams...even if it means having to break a few lower dreams along the way. 

Xoxo, 

Keri. 

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I am a lover of all things creative...from cooking and scrapping to mixed media and music to reading and writing. You name it...I love it (well...except for sewing. LOL) Come join me on my journey of daily creativity, as I live The Creative Life.
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I am a lover of all things creative and a Jesus girl who understands we are all just doing the best we can.

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