The Grace Journal : November 2014

Broken dreams hurt.

Anyone who says otherwise has either never dreamed big and failed or is a big fat liar. (Lol)

If you care about something enough to dream of it and pursue it it means you have put your very HEART on the line for the sake of this thing you are pursuing. And when it doesn't happen the way we dreamed it would or doesn't happen at all, our heart is broken and we are in pain and mourning over our lose.

Then you're left wondering "Why not? Why me? I tried so hard." And then doubt seeps in "Maybe I'm not that good." "Maybe I did something wrong." "What is wrong with me?"

Ever been there? I have. More times than I've wanted to be. And I have allowed those doubts and thoughts to roam around my brain, keeping me preoccupied and down and prisoner.

But..what if I told you...there is more dreams to be dreamt and more hopes to be had? What would you say?

This morning, I saw this quote from Pastor Mark Barnett from The Dream Center and it said "At the end of a broken dream is always a new one." And at first I'm like "oh what a positive happy-go-lucky-unicorns-and-rainbows outlook on life." (Anybody else feel that way when you're in a rough patch and see something like this?!?!)

After a few minutes of internally laughing at my own hilarity (did I mention it was EARLY this morning?), I said to myself "ok...this guy is a well respected pastor...there has to some biblical backing to this statement."

It was then that I remembered the beginning of Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD...

Do you see it? Do you see the promise of infinite dreams? It's small and easy to miss, but it's there....

It's PLANS...with an a S...that means multiple paths your life can take...not just one.

And what's even better...read the second half of the verse:

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. {bold added by me.}

No matter which one of God's PLANS we are on...they are ALL GOOD. They are for us to be prosperous, unharmed and to have a hopeful future.

Does that mean they will always be smooth sailing? No because we live in a world of humans who make mistakes and a sinful world that would like nothing more than to make you THINK you are alone.

Does that mean all your dreams will come true like a Disney Princess? No...because our dreams are not always God's dreams and sometimes God always OUR dreams to be interrupted because he has something BETTER in mind for his children.

It is very easy for us to get hung up on what "could have been" or what we wanted and lose sight of the GOOD that can come over that dream being gone.

One of the comments on this quote on facebook referenced a book by an author named Larry Crabb named "Shattered Dreams" and he said it so well: "Sometimes God shatters lower dreams, so that He can reveal higher dreams to us."

Be open to higher dreams...even if it means having to break a few lower dreams along the way.

Xoxo,

Keri.

I am a thief.

I regularly take from others what doesn't belong to me.

I stuff it in my backpack and collect these things that belong to others to the point where I am weighed down with it.

With my thefts come guilt, condemnation, exhaustion and fear.

What is this thing that turns me into a perpetual cleptomaniac?

Blame.

When a volital situation arises and the other party lays the blame at my feet (or a situation arises and I lay the blame at my own feet), it has been my history to pick it up because it MUST be my fault. "It's always my fault." Says that little wounded inner child who lives in fear of abandonment and has to be a people pleaser or she will be left alone...again.

But...as I grow in Christ...and slowly begin to take hold of His promises of a life that is GOOD, I am realizing more and more that it's NOT always my fault and taking the blame does NOTHING to makes life more productive or fruitful in God's kingdom.

So...I've devised a checklist that I go through to decided whether the blame truly is mine:

1) Is this something God has been dealing with you already?

God is not a teenage girl...he is not going to go to someone else with your business UNLESS he has already tried to get through to you and you didn't listen.

It's OK to admit that you missed what God was saying and sometimes missing God's message causes us to hurt others. Then yes...there is need to make reconciliation.

Did you answer "no?" (Don't take this flippantly...REALLY PRAY to hear the voice of God.) Then there is most likely an issue within that other person that has nothing to do with you. Pray for them and move on. If they insist that you are to blame but you have peace that you aren't...you politely say "Thank you for being open to the Holy Spirit, but I've prayed about this and I don't feel this word it for me." And you walk away.

2) Is what is being said done in love or accusation?

How does it make you feel? Although we shouldn't be always led by our feelings, there are times when that "feeling" is that check in your Holy Spirit saying "Hold on...this ain't right."

Ephesians 4:15a says "Instead, we will speak the truth in LOVE..."

Truth should ALWAYS be accompanied by love...if it's not...it's not God.

3) Does what is being said lead you to Christ!? Or does the blame you have chosen to pick up lead you to make decisions to better yourself or is it just a weight, dragging you down?

The second half of Ephesians 4:15 says "...growing in EVERY WAY more and more like Christ..."

If the situation needing mending is God-breathed and not man-issued, then it will lead you closer to Christ and not drive a wedge between you because our goal as Christians is to BE LIKE Christ...not to the point of being distracted by perfection, but rather to live the BEST Life we can.

I have dealt with this a lot...with different people and different situations and I have found these 3 questions INVALUABLE to dealing with the Blame Game.

Sometimes...I AM wrong and I have to work to mend things.

Sometimes after answering these questions...I am brought to the realization that {SURPRISE!}...IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

I am being a THIEF of someone else's blame and allowing it to weigh me down while it does NOTHING to make my life better.

The only thing that being a THIEF does is make you a PRISONER of your own mind and allows you only temporary visitation with the AMAZING life God has for you because you are trapped behind the bars of someone else's issues.

So... I have to daily make the decision to drop it....like it's hot...like a hot tamale...and run like a scared girl from a giant spider! Just run away from that prison and run to God who is the giver of all FREEDOM...even freedom from ourselves.

Xoxo

Keri